I was just resting my voice

I don't have classes on Wednesdays, which means that I am not slotted to be on campus. As a grad student, I am expected to attend various seminars, workshops, and lectures that occur frequently over the course of a week. When I open the email, I just cross my fingers that the 'optional' event will not fall on a Wednesday. It's a nice campus, but it really breaks up my day to throw in a 32 km roundtrip bicycle commute.

Today I did have to be on campus (woot!). I gathered up my laptop and some books and headed for a local coffee shop on the drive. I spent the majority of the day working through various assignments and readings. In the late afternoon I headed back, puttered around, made some delicious kale-inspired dinner, and then got back to work.

Now it's 8:30 pm, and I've realized that I've about 3 actual interactions with people today. Yikes. I ordered an americano from a woman this morning. That was a consumer-based interaction. I was paying for the treatment I received from her. I had a couple brief interactions with folks at the coffee shop. They were not sustained conversations; they were in reference to some shared observation.

Typically my housemates and I have a pretty good interaction going on throughout the day. However today we seem to be on different schedules.

When I don't actually communicate with people for a day, I feel like less of a person. By the end of the day, I have an urge to call someone (or everyone that I know) and tell them everything that I noticed throughout the day. Or to just start talking out loud. I'm not calling anyone though. I'm blogging. Why?

Well, it seemed appropriate because I think that one of the reasons I can go a whole day without actually talking to someone is because so much happens on the internet. I did have some conversations on gchat with friends. I also exchanged several emails with family members, fellow grad students, and professors. In fact, I was receiving emails from the Sociology department all day long. In some ways, I was in constant contact. My phone, gchat, email. Why privilege face-to-face interactions over virtual ones? Now that I live on the other side of the border, I have come to rely heavily on technology to keep my connected with my community back in Seattle. For the first time I have a phone that accesses the internet. I also use Skype.

Since I am still relatively new to Vancouver, I just don't know that many people. I think that part of learning how to be comfortable with that type of newness, is feeling comfortable with your own silence. When you are part of an established community, you often have at least a couple opportunities throughout the day to express yourself in relaxed settings- maybe with a partner or out with friends. I'm realizing that to be settled with this transition, I need to allow for the time that it takes to develop those spaces. That process will necessarily involve times of loneliness, isolation, and silence. Those are not necessarily negative things though they have a negative connotation. There is a lot to be learned by sitting with yourself.

In the meantime, technology, though it does not replace face-to-face interactions, can provide a means for a certain type of very necessary communication.

Are you scared of loneliness and silence? Why?