when i was a little kid, my mother took me shopping in the boy's department. we both thought the clothes just fit me better. now that i'm 26, i'm back shopping in the boy's department because, again, the clothes just fit me better.
recently my housemate and i were at a thrift shop looking for softball-appropriate clothes when we stumbled down into the boy's section. it was like making a miraculous discovery! in one place there were rows of clothes that i feel comfortable in and want to wear...and they were all in my size! well, to be fair, many of them were far to small. however, plenty looked as if they had been made for me.
i disdain shopping for clothes. mostly, i loathe clothes shopping because it is nearly impossible for me to find clothes. women's departments overwhelmingly stock feminine styles, cuts, and prints. if you're not into or don't feel comfortable in flowers or tops that accentuate your breasts, the women's section is the wrong section for you. since i'm small, i can't shop in the men's department. i look like a child trying on their dad's clothes in even the smallest men's clothes. it's sad. i have a really hard time finding clothes and often end up wearing a lot of things that don't fit me well because it's just too difficult (or too expensive) to do anything else.
enter the boy's department! despite the fact that i feel a bit like a creep sifting through clothes meant for small boys alongside mostly mothers who give me suspicious eyes, i have no qualms about shopping in the boy's section. of course, i doubt i will ever find a pair of pants or shorts there - boys have no hips.
even though shopping in the boy's section provides a nice solution for my clothes issue, i think it would be far nicer if there were (affordable) places for folks with non-conforming genders to shop and not feel judged or like their bodies are wrong. face it, when there are no clothes for your presentation or your body, it feels like you don't exist. this issue has been getting a little bit of attention from the fat positivity movement of late - if stores are not stocking clothes big enough for actual people, then the stores are essentially disregarding these people's existence. well, bodies exceed the fashion industry's standard expectations and bodies present in all sorts of limitless ways. wouldn't it be great if all the people unsatisfied with the dominant standards imposed by the fashion industry opted out of participating at all? wouldn't it be great if there were alternatives? maybe some of the folks left out by this system will create some other choices and we could all support those instead!
Larissa, I totally get it, I have had shopping woes for a long time now. I actually love to shop but am extremely picky. It takes me trying on at least 10 pairs of pants before I can find a pair that I am willing to wear. Either the waist is too loose or the legs too baggy. In general, when I go shopping with my wife or girl friends, I am done shopping in 10-15min while they are weeding through the woman's section (usually 3/4 of the store) for an hour . I find there is very little selection for guys that doesn't have skulls on it. mainstream designers are unimaginative and the alternative usually costs way more than I am willing to spend. For my wife, we usually shop in the girl's section because of her size. This means that we save money, which is great, but we end up with shoes that have barbies on them-really, im looking at those shoes right now. Solution? I'm going to be in Bangkok in 6 days and will go to Chatujuk weekend market. 20,000 shops in 64 acres. In this market there are tons of young, punky designers who take vintage clothes and remake them into amazing creations for mere dollars. I'm almost just as excited to shop as i am to eat Thai food and see my wife......
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ReplyDeleteAhhhh! Yesss! My friend Molly Barrett just launched her own clothes line called "DapperGirl" because she was super frustrated at the stylistic options for queer folks and wanted to create options. From what I understand, her line targets mostly folks who aren't femme and who aren't super butch but fall into what she calls "soft butch" styles. It's all still in its infancy, but you should check it out/get in contact with her: www.dappergirl.com. You guys would be friends, so much.
DeleteAlso: yes, you are supergreat.
Also: I clearly don't understand blogs and how to work them. Please send help.
DeleteDapperGirl looks amazing! I definitely want to be friends with her! And this is exactly what I'm talking - queer folks creating their own options!
Delete"i think it would be far nicer if there were (affordable) places for folks with non-conforming genders to shop and not feel judged or like their bodies are wrong."
ReplyDeleteYes! Very well-put. I appreciate that shopping presents a very different set of challenges for genderqueer or gender non-conforming folks than it does for gender conforming folks such as myself. I'd also like to point out that people who have non-conforming bodies in ANY sense feel judged & excluded when clothes-shopping. You touched on this when you mentioned the fat positivity movement. Also folks with differently-abled bodies face this, and there's a whoooole other blog post we could make about class! And on a lesser scale, it's something that I face as well. It seems sort of silly to even say that, since I'm physically-abled, gender-conforming, etc, but the nature of the fashion industry is that it also makes people like me feel like my body is wrong. Legs too short, hips too big, boobs too big, etc. I don't want to minimize your issues or anything, just point out that it's a really common struggle with so many people, for lots of different reasons!
Amy, you make many excellent points. I actually sat on this post for a few days deciding whether or not to expand the populations I was talking about. The fashion industry's narrow definitions of gender and bodies harm anyone and everyone who does not fit within or subscribe to that limited and limiting mold, including those who cannot afford to and/or do not have access to it. I'd wager that the number of folks excluded by the fashion industry far outweighs the number of people who are accommodated by it.
DeleteDefinitely. But I think that your point is also really well-made & well-taken, which is that it harms gender non-conforming folks in very specific ways. I think it's okay that you didn't expand it because you can't talk about everyone all the time. :)
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