Just wait for it

Last weekend a gay teenager in Ottawa committed suicide. In his suicide note, he referenced the 'It Gets Better' campaign, saying that he just couldn't wait.

I think his comment points to one of the biggest failures of the 'It Gets Better' campaign. Its central message is:

Hey, we know high school is tough - we've been there! But hold on because after you graduate life is going to get a whole lot better. Look, you could have partners and cool jobs and live around other queers. Just wait out that difficult high school period and it will get better!

Certainly, the notion that life gets better after high school, especially for those who are bullied, is an important part of the message. However, especially for those who are bullied, that cannot be the whole message.

Focusing on the idea of 'it gets better' is neglecting the very concrete concerns of the present. Right now there are queer teenagers who are dealing with real hatred, hostility, and violence. Why should they wait for it to get better? They've done nothing wrong. They need it better now. We need to make it better now.

Moreover, when a whole litany of successful queer people say 'yeah, high school was hard for me too, but look at me now!' it unintentionally sends the message that if they can do it, you should be able to do it. No one's high school experience is the same. No one experiences bullying the same way. No queer teenager who is dealing with bullying needs to worry, what's wrong with me? All those queer adults were able to handle it, why can't I? That is an unproductive discourse for a struggling teenager.

The 'It Gets Better' campaign may have been a good way to start having a national conversation about bullying, but the campaign itself is neglecting core issues in favor of having teenagers 'wait it out'. Where does bullying come from? This is about gender, sexism, sexuality, racism, classism. This is about hatred and violence. Real change needs to happen now to address how kids learn about difference. No one should have to wait for there to be less violence in their life.

Check out this video from a group in Seattle called Reteaching Gender and Sexuality. They posted this in response to the 'It Gets Better' campaign when it first started.

And now for something a bit different

I haven't posted in a bit. Apparently grad school requires a bit of work. Also I've had several visitors up here in Canada. This is just a tiny post on a topic that I end up thinking about pretty much daily - bicycling!

I'm a bicycle commuter. I love my bike ride! It's about 16 km to campus. The ride gives me time to unwind, debrief, make little plans in my head, and just think to myself about whatever I want! I really covet that time. It helps me feel balanced.

Vancouver has a pretty developed infrastructure for cyclists - bike lanes, greenways, traffic light buttons specially located for cyclists. They seem to know what they're doing. I take greenways for the majority of my ride to campus. These are non-arterial streets that have been designated as routes for cyclists instead of the busier streets they parallel. They are heavily trafficked by cyclists. I have mixed feelings about them.

On the one hand, it feels safer, and probably is, to travel in large packs of cyclists. Safety in numbers? I like biking with other cyclists. I like the camaraderie. I like when cyclists take over the road and cars just have to wait.

Here's the flip side. These streets are low-car-traffic areas. When drivers use them, they are not expecting to run into other cars. They should be expecting to see cyclists, but, hey, cyclist-awareness is not at the level it could/should be yet. When drivers are not concerned with the possibility of other drivers, they drive differently. Here are the three biggest issues I have observed so far:

Often drivers do the 'rolling stop', briefly looking side to side for cars as they roll part way into the intersection - a notoriously dangerous move for cyclists.

Drivers will approach the small roundabouts, which serve as intersections for many streets, really fast - again, not expecting other drivers so not worried about slowing.

Drivers really want to pass cyclists because they are using this route to bypass the traffic on the busier, arterial street. They pull up real close behind and pass dangerously, driving way too quickly for a small side street that is heavily traveled by cyclists.

I guess what it ultimately comes down to is that it is not enough to create these paths through the city, although they are a nice start. Real safety for cyclists is in awareness. Greenways would work really well if drivers who used those roads only used them for local traffic and then with the extra caution necessary, highly aware that those roads are predominantly utilized by cyclists. Drivers need to care half as much about a cyclist's life as they about getting where they are going as fast as possible. They need to take the extra time to look twice or three times for a cyclist.

Safety is not just the responsibility of a the cyclist. It cannot be.

Do you bike? How is it where you live? Any great ideas?